


Creation

by snowstar



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Abduction, M/M, Obsession, Serial Killers, Stockholm Syndrome, Traumatic Bonding, character death (not Mike or Harvey), probably a kind of “personality breaking”, sick ways of love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-03
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-10 10:20:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3286760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowstar/pseuds/snowstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harvey is a serial killer and keeps hiding his true nature from anybody at the firm. But as his obsession with Mike grows stronger and stronger, separating his business life from the dark depths of his personality becomes unbearable. Harvey decides that it´s about time. And once Harvey has made a decision nobody is able to stop him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

_Since you have your own office I like watching you even more, knowing that it was my own office once. I love the thought that I just put you in a place that once was mine. Most of the time you are busy, but only until you recognize me, leaning against the door frame. Your eyes light up and I see the trust in them and I feel something breaking inside of me at the need to have you._

_Then you smile at me and you actually make me feel **tenderness** , a thing I rarely feel, except when I kill someone who I don´t really want to kill, who is just in the way or witnessed too much. I´m not a soulless bastard, but I know some things have to be done. And when I draw the knife into their bodies and their eyes go wide and a scream wants to escape their throat I lean forward and my lips press against theirs. It´s like a kiss good night and their eyes close peacefully afterwards. And in this way I don´t kill, I just lay to sleep._

_The ones I want to kill though leave this world as various as their lives have been. Silent and graceful. Humble and meek. Loud and obnoxious. Cursing. Begging. Praying._

_One might think I´d kill for fun. For feeling power. For revenge. To get somebody out of the way when it comes to business. But all this is not true. I kill because I´m an artist. Human beings are my instrument and I play them like no one else can. Or dares. Taking someone´s life is art. And what most people don´t understand about it is that a true artist values his art in every way. Every victim is a masterpiece to me, a thing I accomplished with dedication, no matter if it´s the powerful CEO of a huge company or just the waitress of a low class restaurant._

_It was Louis who brought you back a few weeks ago, from your little trip into the world of High Finance, but it was me who made this firm your home. And ever since you started working with me I made sure to become your one and only fixpoint. Ah, you would maybe deny that, given that this little naïve black-haired beauty is at your side, who claims to love you, but then doesn´t, throwing herself into the arms of that jerk Sanders. You went back to her, but I know something is broken and it´s about time. Time that I show you what it feels like to receive an all-encompassing, all-consuming love. The love of a man like me. It´s about time that I start to rectify everything, that I open your eyes and make you my creation. Because that is what you are and always were meant to be. My own wonderful, adorable, beautiful creation. Like this you are the world to me. And in the same way I´m going to become the world to you._

_Tonight is the first step into our new life. But to make you perfect, first I have to tear you apart._


	2. Chapter 2

“Harvey said that he wants to come over tonight to have dinner with us.”

Mike was leaning against the open door of Rachel´s office. It was early Friday afternoon and he just was back from court.

“He did…what?”

“He wants to have dinner with…”

“Yes, I heard that, Mike, but – why?”

Rachel looked as puzzled as Mike must have probably looked when Harvey invited himself over. Well, just at the first second of course, shortly before Harvey had smiled at him and even had stroked his back in an encouraging and proud way for several seconds (which might have been a tiny little bit weird, but Mike didn´t put too much thought into that.) They were closer now than ever before and Harvey´s “Sometimes brothers fight” comment still rang in Mike´s ears. And they had just won the Waterford case. A big success for the firm. And for them.

“Well,” Mike smiled brightly (and proudly) at his girlfriend, “maybe because he wants to _celebrate_!”

“What? You won? You actually won?”

Rachel jumped up from her chair, rushed towards Mike and embraced him tightly.

“Hey - never a doubt.”

“Oh really, never a doubt? I thought there were plenty of…”

“Ok, ok,” Mike put up his hands in defence and interrupted Rachel that way, “There were _a few_ doubts. I just…”

“You just wanted to sound like Harvey when he´s winning,” Rachel stated with a raised eyebrow.

“No, I didn´t. I…,” Mike tried to go on but one look into Rachel´s face told him that she was not _that_ wrong with her assumption. He cleared his voice quickly.

“Okay, maybe he rubbed off on me a bit.”

“Probably more than a bit,” Rachel nodded and shook her head slightly when she went back to her desk.

“So he wants to come over tonight. When?”

“He asked me if 9 pm would be okay. I said yes.”

“I wonder why he doesn´t just take you out to dinner to celebrate? Like last time when you won against Stemple.”

“Hm, don´t know. Maybe, you know, since all we´ve been through lately he wants to make it a little more…personal.”

Rachel sighed deeply and then looked at all the folders on her desk. Mike was back now at the firm and Harvey had immediately claimed him as his personal associate again but that didn´t hold him back from literally covering her in work, somehow using her now as his second associate. Well, so to say, the number two who got all the less interesting, but yet not less complicated cases.

She had been proud to become Harvey´s assistant for the time Mike was gone and worked for Sidwell, though Harvey had been a real dick to her, sometimes nearly verging on the line of vile. More than once she had wondered if he had treated Mike the same way when he had been new at the firm and when confronted with this, Mike had confirmed it and had told Rachel to keep her head up, that was what Harvey was like and she should just try to give her best at work. But what Rachel had recognized, yet not told Mike, was that there was a difference between the challenging and teasing comments Harvey had given Mike in their first year together and the almost cruel and indifferent way he treated her since he had become her direct boss.

“Well, if he invited himself he´d better not expect haute cuisine. I´ll be glad if I can get home before 9, to be honest.”

Rachel grabbed a stack of folders from her desk, lifted them up shortly in front of Mike´s eyes and let them fall down again with a loud thud. She sighed deeply.

“Jesus, he´s really burying you in work. Want me to say something to him?”

“No, I really don´t need my boyfriend to defend me when it comes to my boss. And I don´t want Harvey to think I can't handle this.”

“Are you sure? The last time you said you could handle this you ended up in hospital and scared the shit out of me.”

“That…won´t happen again. I promise. I know when it´s time to draw the line. And I´m drawing the line today at cooking for my boss. Let´s just order something. Though my dad always said _“If you host a dinner for colleagues, pay respect and don´t serve ordered food.”_

“Well, “ Mike said, “in this case we have no other choice. Harvey will get to enjoy my famous spaghetti sauce.”

“You are going to serve your boss spaghetti. Seriously?”

“Hey, you tried my sauce and said it is fantastic. And by the way,” Mike came closer until he stood in front of Rachel´s desk and leant over it to kiss her shortly but tenderly, “he´s not just my boss. He´s a friend as well.”

 

***********************

 

At 8:50, Rachel finally stepped into their apartment. She was exhausted and tired and not _that_ excited to spend even more time with Harvey after the day she had, but knew that this whole thing was important for Mike. Not from a professional point of view, he had proven his value to Harvey here more than enough, but from a personal one, given that Harvey was Mike´s only real friend meanwhile (aside from her) since he had lost Trevor and Jenny and his grandmother a while ago. It worried her a little and she would have never admitted this out loud but sometimes she felt a kind of strange competition between her and Harvey for Mike´s attention. A competition Harvey usually won, playing the “I´m the boss” card.

Mike seemed to be blind to this and once directly confronted (because she was really mad and his decision was important here) he didn´t give a real statement, neither siding with her nor Harvey explicitly. It was right after he told her that he reconsidered his decision to work for Sidwell and wanted to stay at Pearson Specter, keeping the danger of getting exposed hanging over both of their heads, that she couldn´t hold back any longer and threw it into his face.

 

_"Harvey wanted you to stay, I wanted you to leave, you chose to stay, so your priorities, they seem pretty clear to me.”_

 

Maybe it had been a little exaggerated then, but she couldn´t help herself in that very moment.

The following _“Rachel, come on.”_ hadn´t been a real satisfying answer to her. She had expected him to explain more but he hadn´t done it and then the subject of the conversation had just changed into “I committed another felony to cover my ass”.

“Hey, Babe.”

Mike stood in the kitchen in front of the stove, even wore her kitchen apron and was busy stirring the spaghetti sauce and adding some olive oil. The whole room smelled deliciously of Italian herbs and fresh tomatoes.

“Hey.”

Rachel let herself sink onto the couch in the living room, the door open to the kitchen.

“What a day. I´m so exhausted I just want to lay on this couch for the next 24 hours and not move a single limb. Do you think Harvey would mind me not sitting at the table together with you and just lying here like a living corpse?”

She chuckled a bit, but it sounded really tired.

“Hm,” Mike replied, still stirring the sauce but smiling inwardly, “not sure. I´m afraid I can´t let you _not_ eat. We would have to feed you then I guess…”

“WE?” Rachel actually started to laugh. “That would be a picture. You _and_ Harvey feeding me together…”

Mike swallowed and an unfamiliar thrill suddenly went through his stomach as the initial innocent picture went through his mind. Rachel laying on the couch while him and Harvey…well… _took care of her_. He shook his head quickly. He probably really needed to take care of _himself_ again (maybe when this dinner would be over and when Rachel would be asleep) if he was already getting strange threesome ideas. Since their lives had gotten so stressful with him working for Harvey again (“Yes, I´m at your service day and night, Sir!”) and Rachel juggling work and law school there was barely enough time to have some intimate moments. Let alone hours.

Mike was ripped out of his thoughts when Rachel continued.

“And I have law school tomorrow until 8 pm. Hours and hours of contract law.”

She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.

“Why did I decide to do that again?”

Mike finally turned around, cooking spoon in hand and smiled at her.

“Well, I think there was something about you loving the law. And that you didn´t want to stay a paralegal for the rest of your life.”

He came closer and entered the living room until he stood in front of her and then bent down to kiss her thoroughly.

“And I also remember that there was something about you wanting to impress your dad…”

“Okay, don´t even go there,” Rachel cut him short and waved her hand. She curled her lips and then grinned a little, looking up defiantly to Mike.

“You know what?” she asked, feigning seriousness. “I´m just going to become a fake lawyer. If Harvey didn´t mind once, he shouldn´t mind a second time…”

“Oh, but I´m an _outstanding_ fake lawyer. Plus I think he kind of liked me from the beginning because I…”

“Ah yes, yes,” Rachel interrupted him again,”… movie quotes, little brother resemblance, good chemistry and who knows what else?”

“Hey, what else? Nothing else.”

“Hm,” Rachel hummed. “If you think that…” She was too tired to discuss the constantly on-going weird subliminal competition between her and Harvey for Mike now and her impression that Harvey sometimes dug his claws too deeply into Mike. It hadn´t gone well the last time and afterwards she had just felt like an idiot for bringing it up. 

Mike went back to the stove and stirred the sauce once more, standing with his back to her.

Rachel couldn´t shake the feeling off that she just had said something that had dampened the mood.

She got up from the couch and embraced Mike from behind, slowly kissing down his neck. Mike immediately got goose bumps.

Some moments passed with them just standing like that and then Mike turned around.

“He´s not a bad guy, Rachel. I know, he´s mean to you and that you don´t really like him…”

“Oh, I…,” Rachel started to defend herself but Mike cut her short.

“But he helped me a lot and I trust him. I wouldn´t have any of this without him. So…,” he embraced her right back now, “…do you think we just can have a nice dinner tonight?”

His bright blue eyes shone expectantly and Rachel understood. He was looking forward to spending the evening with the two people he liked most and she surely wouldn´t ruin this because of a childish and obviously very stupid… _jealousy_? Mike certainly deserved better. And if Harvey and her were the two most important people in Mike´s life – well, then the two of them just would have to learn to get along with each other. She breathed in deeply and then smiled back at him.

“Of course, Mike. Of course we can.”

Mike leaned in to her and kissed her gently.

“Thank you,” he breathed against her lips. “I really want you two to like each other. That would mean a lot to me…”

They were suddenly interrupted by some loud knocking at the front door. A glance at the clock told them that it was already a few minutes after 9. Harvey was there.

“Oh God, I haven´t even set the table yet.”

Mike sprang into action, twirling around and nearly knocking the pot with his famous tomato sauce off the stove. He pushed it back into the middle of the plate, wiped some of the spilled sauce off with a napkin and then started to rummage for the dishes.

“Don´t panic, Mike, I'll take care of this. Now open the door and let him in.”

“Thanks, Rach.”

Mike rushed to the front door, but not without stopping in the middle of the way and turning around again.

“Hey, and I bought some new napkins, they are in the left drawer. If you could…”

“Yes, I got it, Mike. Now open the door.”

“Okay, okay…”

When Mike finally opened the door to let Harvey in, the older lawyer was already leaning nonchalantly against the outer door frame, still in his business suit, a wine bottle in hand.

“Hey, rookie, what took you so long? Did you consider not letting me in?”

Harvey straightened himself and stepped closer towards Mike.

Mike cleared his throat, furrowed his brows and looked seriously at Harvey.

“Don't ever invite a vampire into your house. It renders you powerless.” _  
_

There was a sudden flash in Harvey´s eyes and for a moment Mike was confused whether he had said something inappropriate but just after a second Harvey started to grin.

“So now I´m a vampire to you? You think I´m that dangerous?”

“Who knows what you are really doing at night, Harvey…”

Mike stepped out of the way and Harvey passed him by.

“You´re right. I´m a mystery. That´s part of my sex appeal. And while we're on the subject of sex appeal - nice apron.”

Mike looked down at himself and realized that he had forgotten to take Rachel´s apron off. He looked back at Harvey and shrugged his shoulders.

“Yeah. Didn´t you know that I´m the domestic type?”

“Well, since you are the doll playing type I wouldn´t have expected anything else.”

“Oh man, YOU sent me to Joy back then…”

“And you even brought me a doggy bag. That was very…domestic.”

Harvey emphasized the last word more than necessary.

Mike wanted to counter something, they were already in the middle of one of their usual teasing banters he (and damn sure Harvey as well) loved so much.

But right then Harvey handed Mike the wine bottle he brought for their dinner as a well mannered guest.

“A 2002 Seavey Cabernet Sauvignon.”

Mike looked at it with a blank face. Rachel could have assessed what kind of wine that was but he himself still lacked knowledge in this certain field.

“Please don´t tell me that this bottle costs more than my monthly rent.”

“No, I thought I should keep these kind of wines in my basement for the time we successfully sue the Queen of England.”

“What kind of wine would you bring then?”

“The 1985 Henri Jayer Richebourg. And yes, that one is _much_ more than your monthly rent.”

Mike sighed and scolded himself inwardly for not knowing anything at all about this certain topic. Not knowing what to do, he just quickly pulled Rachel´s apron over his head.

“Though this one matches better with spaghetti,” Harvey continued.

Mike started to feel a little embarrassed now. Harvey´s super expensive wines compared with the cheap meal he just cooked made him feel like a lousy host. Then again, when things came to this he didn´t really feel that he could keep up with Harvey.

“How did you know we would have spaghetti?” he asked a little softer than he had intended.

“I put two and two together. I kept Rachel at the office til 8:30, and you´re not a five star chef. ”

“I also could have ordered something,” Mike countered.

Harvey nodded briefly.

“You could have. But since you are the _domestic_ type…”

“Okay, okay, you've made your point. And…,” Mike looked down at the wine bottle in his hand, “thank you, Harvey.”

 

“Harvey!”

They both turned around as Rachel was approaching them with a smile on her face. Obviously she was done setting the table.

“Nice to have you here. And congratulations on your victory.”

“Ah, the lady of the house,” Harvey greeted her charmingly. For a second Mike almost expected him to go all “Great Gatsby” like and even kiss her hand. Which would have been completely weird, of course. Nevertheless Mike relaxed a bit. Outside of work Harvey had obviously decided to stop bossing her around and transformed into a really well mannered guest. Maybe this could actually turn into a very nice evening after all.

“Harvey brought us some wine.”

Mike handed Rachel the bottle and she just briefly glanced at the label.

“Oh, a 2002 Seavey Cabernet Sauvignon. That´s a really excellent one. Thank you very much, Harvey.”

Harvey first grinned at her and then even wider as he turned towards Mike, who just nodded helplessly and put up his hands in defence.

“I know – she´s the wine expert here. I´m just the guy who cooks the spectacular spaghetti sauce.”

“Can´t really judge that until I have tried it,” Harvey countered.

“Maybe we all should just stop standing in the hallway then,” Rachel interfered. “Please Harvey, come in.”

Rachel turned around and Harvey and Mike followed her into the dining room.

The table was nicely set with two candles and expertly folded napkins. Rachel really knew how to host a dinner. Or at least how to make a good impression.

They all took their seats at the table and Mike opened the Cabernet Sauvignon and poured each of them a glass while Rachel filled their plates.

After the first bite Harvey actually perked his eyebrows up.

“That´s… really good,” he stated unbelieving.

Rachel chuckled at the surprised and slightly confused expression on his face.

“My Grammy´s old receipt. That was the first thing she taught me to cook. And actually the only one…”

Mike smiled first at Rachel, then at Harvey, but there was a bit of sadness in his eyes.

Rachel reached out her hand and let it tenderly wander over Mike´s back for a second. Those kind of wounds never healed completely and maybe, in Mike´s special case, they cut even deeper into a soul than compared to a person who was able to grow up without the life shattering damage of losing both parents at a much too young age.

The conversation went to much lighter topics as the dinner continued. The won lawsuit, Rachel´s experiences at Columbia, Harvey´s newest pro bono case (which had just transformed into Mike´s newest pro bono case) and Louis' little Maine-Coon kitten, which he actually used to bring to the office every goddamn day, because _“She´s still frightened and she can´t be all day without her daddy.”_ (That man had severe problems).

When they finally had finished their dinner, they moved to the living room, having a second glass of wine.

“What about a movie?” Mike suggested after some time. “We haven´t had a movie night since…,” He frowned at Harvey. “We actually _never_ had a movie night, Harvey. How is that possible?”

“I don´t know, rookie, but I agree that it´s about time. Lost Boys?”

Mike laughed.

“Well, why not? If I already let the vampire cross my threshold…”

He put his wineglass on the couch table.

“Hey, but not without popcorn. We can´t have a movie night without any popcorn!”

“I don't think we have any popcorn here Mike,” Rachel sighed. She didn´t seem to be so excited about watching an old and bloody vampire movie. Also she really seemed to be fighting to stay awake. Probably twenty minutes more or so and she would be falling asleep on this couch and even worse, with her head on Harvey´s chest, who was sitting next to her. Very professional.

“Hey, no problem, I'll just grab some from the store across the street. I´ll be back in less than ten minutes.”

Mike got up, about to rush out of the flat.

“Would you two mind if I didn't join you and just got ready for bed instead? I have a lot of lectures tomorrow. I organised it that way, because I´m off work on Saturdays,” Rachel apologized.

“Of course, just get some sleep, honey.”

Mike kissed Rachel quickly and then grabbed his jacket while Rachel excused herself again to Harvey and then went into the bathroom to get ready for bed.

The store really was just across the street and Mike found some popcorn, paid and went back to their flat in less than ten minutes, as he had promised.

He turned his key, hung up his jacket on the coat rack and entered the kitchen. And literally froze in shock.

Two plates lay shattered on the ground, the rest of tomato sauce splattered around and a chair had been knocked over. A dresser had been moved and stood strangely in the middle of the way now. There was light shining through the half open door of the bathroom and he could smell perfume. Mike made a careful step into the direction of the bathroom and saw one of Rachel´s flacons shattered on the floor. The whole place looked like there had been a huge fight going on. Someone must have burgled into their apartment though Mike hadn´t recognized any traces of burglary on the front door. Maybe Rachel had unknowingly opened the door.

Mike pulled himself together and stood there silently. Maybe they were still there. Oh God, Rachel. Harvey. He thought of calling the police but his phone lay on the coffee table in the living room.

He took some silent breaths and listened. There was no sound in the whole apartment audible. He had to try to call for help. Slowly he entered the living room, the box of popcorn still in his hand.

“I´m glad you´re finally back. Now we can start the real interesting part of this night.”

Harvey stood there in front of the couch, an arm wrapped around Rachel´s torso, her back tightly pressed against his chest. She already wore her short satin nightshirt. Her breasts were barely covered and the light brown skin of her naked legs shone softly in the dim light.

But Mike didn´t notice all of that. He also didn´t notice the wine glasses which lay on the carpet from when the fight had obviously moved from the bathroom and kitchen to the living room, the red wine painting the carpet like blood stains. He didn´t even notice the tears which were running down Rachel´s face or her harsh breathing. All he could see right now was the barrel of a gun, tightly pressed against her delicate temple and the strange, intense expression in Harvey´s eyes. An expression he had never ever seen on him before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Mike´s movie quotation:  
> “Don't ever invite a vampire into your house. It renders you powerless.” - from “The Lost Boys”, 1987


	3. Chapter 3

 

“Harvey. What…” Mike began helpless. His brain refused to process the picture right in front of him. He stared incredulously into Harvey´s eyes. The box with the popcorn glided out of his hands and fell on the floor with a soft thud.

Rachel gasped under Harvey´s tight grip, which only made him pull her even closer towards him.

“First, I have to apologize, Mike. I´m not usually someone who uses a gun. I admit it´s not very classy. But since there are two of you I thought… well, let´s say it´s a bit more convenient in this special case. And sorry about the mess. She´s a quick little beast, almost made it out of the apartment.”

He tilted his head a little and pressed his nose shortly against the side of Rachel´s neck and hair. And inhaled deeply.

“Hmmm…and that would have been a real pity. Don´t you think, honey?”

He shoved a bit of her hair to the side with his nose and nipped at her skin.

Rachel inhaled shakily and full body shuddered, her eyes shutting tightly for a moment.

“Stop that,” Mike instantly yelled at Harvey and made a reflexive step towards them.

“What is it, Mike? You can´t take the thought of someone else touching your girlfriend? Do you want to beat me up already? Didn´t go too well with Sanders. And this time you can´t even run to me to patch you up.”

“I…,” Mike shook his head, still not able to grasp the whole scene in front of him. ”Oh God, Harvey, what is happening here? Are you insane?”

“No Mike, actually I´m perfectly fine. But I decided that it was about time. From the moment you became my associate you tried to get close to me. You kept rattling at the barriers I built around myself while you didn´t even know what you would unleash. Well, congratulations – you were successful. You made it through. And now that I´m letting you in, I´m going to let you in _completely_.”

“And…what does that mean?” Mike asked unsure. “Are you telling me that this,” he waved his hand and gestured at Harvey, “is what you are?”

“This is the part of me nobody gets to see aside from…well, the ones I want to know. But yes, that _is_ me. And since you were so eager to get acquainted with every shade of me…”

Mike closed his eyes and shook his head again, the whole situation still unbelievingly surreal to him.

“This is insane,” he whispered.

He opened his eyes again and looked at Harvey.

“ _You_ are insane. You need help…”

A part of him almost believed that this was just a really terrible nightmare and that he soon would wake up.

But Harvey was still standing here, now a complete stranger to him, and threatened the woman he loved.

The sight of the gun pressed to Rachel´s temple made Mike´s chest swell up with horror.

“Oh God, please Harvey, please take the gun away from her head.”

His voice started to sound shaky at the edges. His fear that the gun could discharge – even just by accident because of a wrong move from Harvey´s side – began to burn like fire in his chest.

“Hm,” Harvey hummed, “and why would I want to do that?”

Mike swallowed again and inhaled deeply. Then his brain finally moved into emergency mode. His thoughts suddenly got clearer, the feeling of panic and fear suppressed for the purpose of…surviving.

He put up his hands in a placating way.

“Okay, Harvey. Okay. Just…just tell me what this is all about. What do you want from us?”

Harvey actually started to smile at him, an amused and even a little proud smile. Like if he´d actually be proud of _Mike_.

“I really like to see that I taught you well. Step one of successful negotiating: Finding out what the counterparty wants. Well, let´s just say I´m in the mood to have some wild fun tonight.”

Mike clenched his jaw.

“And…what _exactly_ does this fun entail?”

Now Harvey´s grin widened and he was nodding at Mike.

“Oh, you´re gonna see soon enough. Like…right now. Why don´t we all move to your bedroom? I think this is the appropriate place for what I have in mind.”

He tilted his head in the direction of Mike and Rachel´s bedroom.

“After you.”

Mike hesitated shortly, but since Harvey still had the gun pressed to Rachel´s head he didn´t have much choice. He headed for the bedroom, Harvey following him with Rachel still pressed against his body.

As they all stood in front of the bed Harvey made Rachel sit down on it and pressed the barrel of the gun directly at her forehead. He then shifted his attention to Mike.

“Kneel down Mike, right next to the heater.”

He quirked his head in the direction of the radiator on the wall to the left side of the bed.

But this time Mike didn´t move.

“What are you up to?”

“I thought I expressed myself pretty clearly a minute ago. You´re not nearly as brilliant as I thought you were if you haven´t got any idea what that meant. Kneel down next to the heater,” Harvey repeated himself, much harsher this time. “I´m going to handcuff you to the pipes for the rest of the night. As for me, I just would get you a comfortable chair and give you a nice view from the front row when I´m having fun with your girlfriend but I´m afraid you wouldn´t be able to just watch and not interfere. And I don´t like any disturbances when I fuck. Of course, you are allowed to close your eyes until I´m done if it gets to be too much.”

It was Rachel now who made a loud sob. She started to shake visibly and the tears resumed running down her cheeks.

She looked up at him with pleading eyes.

“Harvey, please don´t do that to me. I can´t…I cannot…”

Harvey turned his head towards her and looked her in the eyes, his free hand softly tilting her chin up with thumb and index finger.

“Oh, don´t worry honey, I know what I´m doing. A lot of women have enjoyed my cock up until now and I´m sure you´re not going to be an exception.”

He ran his thumb over her lips.

“And I´m going to make sure that you are able to _thoroughly_ enjoy it. Such pretty lips. Would be a pity if I didn't use the opportunity to see this mouth in action. I always wondered what you must look like when you go down on Mike. 

Rachel shook her head wildly to get away from Harvey´s touch. He removed his hand from her chin, but just to let his fingers slide over her left and right shoulder, pushing down the straps of her nightshirt.

“Get naked, honey. When I´m done handcuffing Mike, you will have my undivided attention. I think we should start with a quick hard fuck. You know, just to take the edge off a bit…”

It was right then that Rachel started to _panic_. She cried heavily and worse, threw her head carelessly first to the left then to the right side to get away from him, the barrel of the gun scraping across her forehead dangerously.

“No,” she yelled, “no, leave me alone. Stop touching me. I don´t want this. Let me. Let me go…”

She struggled against Harvey, lost her balance and fell backwards onto the bed. Harvey roughly grabbed her upper arm and pulled her back to the edge.

“Stop panicking,” he growled at her. “It´s just sex. It´s not like I´m going to chop off your head…but I probably will if you´re not able to face this with a bit of dignity. And believe me, I don´t make empty threats. I have already done it before.”

After hearing that Rachel didn´t seem to be able to calm herself again. She kept crying and crying, her whole body shaking in spasms.

Mike couldn´t take it anymore. He couldn´t take the sight of her being in such terror. He couldn´t take the sight of that gun which was still aimed at her. He was there to protect her. What was he good for if he wasn´t able to protect the woman he loved? He would have thrown himself at Harvey without hesitation but just a startled movement from Harvey´s side could result in Rachel getting shot with that gun pressed against her forehead. There was no way Mike would risk that.

“Harvey,” he interfered with a soft voice into this awful conversation that was going on between the two of them. “Harvey, can I do anything? Do you want anything from _me_? If there is something, whatever it is, you can have it. Just…spare her from that.”

And there it was. Mike couldn´t see it as Harvey´s head was still turned towards Rachel, but she saw it perfectly clear in his face. Satisfaction. Victory. The knowledge that he just had gotten what he wanted. What he had wanted from the very beginning. Oh God.

The expression on his face quickly faded when he turned towards Mike and his eyebrows furrowed quizzically.

“I don´t know, Mike. Does anything really mean anything?”

Mike felt his knees get weak but at the same time he saw a possibility to get Rachel out of the way. Away from Harvey´s attention.

He straightened himself and looked Harvey in the eyes.

“Anything,” he confirmed with a firm voice.

“Hm,” Harvey hummed again and it looked like if he was contemplating.

After a short while (a pause probably for dramatic effect) he started to speak again.

“You see, Mike, the problem is that I´m really in the mood to fuck tonight.” He waited again for some seconds before he continued. “So I´m asking you again – does anything _really_ mean anything?”

It was like red hot lava was poured upon Mike as the realization set in. He just stared at Harvey.

“You want to…what? But I´m…I´m not a woman.”

The words sounded strange, maybe even idiotic while they came out of his mouth. Even in his current state of terror the part of his brain that still worked logically told him that men could also be raped. He just would have never assumed that this could happen to him.

Harvey just quirked his eyebrow.

“Yes, I recognized that the moment I met you.”

“But you are not…you don´t…”

Mike couldn´t finish his sentence. His nails dug into his palms.

“Let me make one thing clear, Mike, as you are obviously having problems getting your head around this. I like women. Very much so. But I also like…variety. So please do me a favour and look less shocked. The subject of this conversation is not my orientation, as far as I am able to remember.” 

Mike nodded curtly, pressing his lips together.

“I know,” he whispered.

“Good,” Harvey continued. “I thought I asked you a question.”

Mike couldn´t reply immediately. He looked at Rachel and her tear stained face. She had stopped shaking visibly but her eyes still showed fear. And Harvey still had that gun aimed to her body. During his whole conversation with Mike Harvey had never lost focus on that.

He waited some more seconds to muster up enough courage. As he finally gave his consent his mind was completely blank, preventing him from thinking about this in too many details.

“Anything. If that is what you want…”

 

“NO!”

Rachel´s voice was unbelievably clear and strong as she suddenly yelled the word into the silence of the room.

Mike and even Harvey turned in surprise towards her.

“Don´t do that, Mike. I don´t want you to do that. He…,” she choked and her hands started to shake again, “he can´t hurt me as much as he can hurt you. My body…I can…I can take it…better…” She already started crying again.

And obviously just to push her completely over the edge Harvey leaned down to her while he spoke the next words.

“Oh honey, what makes you think I wouldn´t fuck you exactly the same way I´d fuck him? I already told you that I would ensure that you could _thoroughly_ enjoy my cock. Do you really believe that I wouldn´t use every sweet hole your body has to offer…?

Rachel gulped and then her eyes closed. It looked like she was about to throw up from Harvey´s words.

“Enough! Harvey…enough of that.”

Mike touched Harvey´s arm a little to make the man focus on him instead of her, “if I´m willing to change places with her…do we have a deal then?”

Harvey looked at him, a severe expression on his face.

“If I let you change places with her this must hold an advantage for me. She´s a nervous wreck at the moment and fucking her would be undoubtedly a satisfying pleasure but also a little…annoying. All this crying and whining. It´s a little disturbing after all. If I let you take her place I want you to be brave. I want you to do what I say and I don´t want you to turn into something like…” he pointed his finger at Rachel, “this. If you agree to that, then we have a deal.”

Mike didn´t know _at all_ if he was able to do that. Not at all. But there was no other way to get Rachel out of the proverbial line of fire.

“I agree,” he replied, nodding.

“Good. Actually I have great respect for someone who´s showing courage. But I think you already know that I correspond to strength rather than to weakness.”

Harvey looked down at Rachel as he said the last word, then grabbed her wrist, pulled her up from the edge of the bed and pushed her towards the heater on the wall next to the bed.

“I think you know what happens next, honey. Kneel down.”

Rachel went down on her knees but she didn´t pay attention anymore to the gun Harvey was holding to threaten her or to the handcuffs he used with his free hand to tie her to the pipes of the heater. Her eyes were glued on Mike. She sobbed again and then spoke with a broken voice.

“Mike, he has planned this. He wanted that from the beginning. He tricked you. He was using…”

Harvey suddenly pressed his hand over her mouth and kept her from speaking. He seemed to get really angry now.

“I don´t think I want to hear another sound from you for the rest of the night.”

He pressed the barrel of the gun to her forehead again.

“But I absolutely think that instead of wildly assuming things, you should thank Mike. For having the courage to take your place.”

He let his palm slide from Rachel´s mouth. As she didn´t seem to do as he said he pressed the gun even tighter to her head.

“Will you hurry up?”

“Harvey please, let her…” Mike tried to get Harvey´s attention again.

“No, she is going to say it!”

Rachel looked at Mike again and the tears were even running down her throat now.

“Thank you,” she choked out and her voice broke completely.

A satisfied smile spread over Harvey´s face.

“Excellent. I knew you just needed a little reminder that you are a well mannered girl.”

He bent down to her until his face was directly in front of hers.

“And now you´re going to be quiet. Whatever happens in this room, you´re going to stay silent. I don´t want to hear any sobs, any crying or whatever else you can let loose. This isn´t going to be easy for him and I don´t want you to distract him with anything. If you can´t hold yourself back things will become much worse for you than they are now. Have I made myself clear?”

Rachel pressed her lips together and nodded quickly.

“Fine.”

Harvey came up again and then turned towards Mike.

They were looking each other in the eyes for several long seconds and if Mike didn´t know better he almost could have sworn he had seen a bit of strange admiration on Harvey´s face. It just made him feel more dread on the inside.

Harvey took a few steps towards him.

“Before this starts I want to tell you something. As I already said I have the greatest respect for someone who shows courage and strength. I think that such behaviour deserves to be rewarded. So if you´re going to be brave in this I promise to help you all along the way and to keep any preventable physical pain from you. Do you understand me?”

Mike broke eye contact with Harvey and nodded.

“Yes,” he whispered silently, confirming it verbally and somehow resigning himself to his fate.

“Good. Then first we are going to collect the necessities. I don´t want you to start rummaging for them when we are already in action. Get your lube.”

Mike´s head sprang up at this. Not just because the whole thing was becoming horrendous reality now. It suddenly became clear to him that he…he…Jesus Christ…

“Didn´t you hear me?” Harvey pushed him when Mike didn´t start moving.

“We…I…I mean we…,” he felt so embarrassed now, being forced to pour out their sex life in front of Harvey, “we don´t have any lube.”

Harvey made a face like if he had told him that they didn´t have constant hot water in their apartment.

“I wanted to make this easy for you, but if you are lying to me, I swear…”

He went around the bed to the night stand and opened the drawer. A black satin sleeping mask (most likely belonging to Rachel), some magazines, a bottle of sleeping pills. A small and obviously very old plush panda bear. Harvey couldn´t suppress a grin. Probably one of Mike´s from his childhood. 

“I´m not lying,” Mike interrupted his examination. “We…” he ran a hand through his hair, still embarrassed, “we don´t need that. We don´t do…” He couldn´t say _that_.

“You don´t do…what? Anal?” Harvey tried to force it out of him. “I didn´t expect her,” he tilted his head towards the kneeling Rachel, “to actually use some toys on _you_ , but not even…?”

He waved his hand.

“Whatever.”

He closed the drawer and shortly contemplated. Then he went back to Mike, grabbed his wrist and pushed him towards the bedroom door.

“What now?” Mike asked bewildered, while Harvey urged him to go, obviously intent to come with him.

“Kitchen,” was all he got as an answer.

They both stepped into the kitchen and Mike nearly fell over the plates which still lay shattered on the ground. He briefly wondered what the fight between Rachel and Harvey must have looked like, if he had threatened her with something other than a gun at first or if she just carelessly had tried to run while he had overpowered her with pure force, fully aware that while being stronger he didn´t even have to shoot to gain control over her.

He turned around to Harvey, who was looking at the kitchen counter, smiling contently.

“I knew – nobody who cooks such a delicious spaghetti sauce does it without using a really excellent olive oil.”

“Olive oil,” Mike repeated, just as a whisper, looking down at the floor and the tomato sauce which was splattered everywhere and the whole weight of what was awaiting him suddenly crushed down on him with full force.

“Get it!” Harvey told him.

As Mike didn´t move and just kept staring down at the shattered plates, Harvey, for the very first time since this whole madness had started, pointed the gun at _him_.

“Get it, Mike. Now. Because I promise you this much, you do _not_ want me to do what I am going to do to you without it.”

Mike closed his eyes for a second, tried to suppress the upcoming panic and made a few steps towards the kitchen counter. He grabbed the bottle of olive oil, turned around and then just looked at Harvey.

The man´s gaze lay heavy on him, his eyes nearly piercing through him.

“Are you afraid of it?”

Mike let out a pained, strangled sound.

“Of course,” he replied, the increasing fear audible in his voice, “of course I am. What do you think? I´m doing this with you to prevent you from doing this with her…”

“I wouldn´t have expected anything else from you. Now back to the bedroom with you. This is going to be a long night and I finally want to start things with you.”

They went back to the bedroom and when Mike stood in front of the bed, _their_ bed, where he had experienced times of utter tenderness, breathless passion, warm embraces on cold nights and laughter in the mornings, his breath hitched. He felt that this would be something he would never come back from entirely. His hands balled into fists and he could feel tears welling up in his eyes. He had promised Harvey in exchange for Rachel´s safety to not turn into a crying mess and he fought for composure with all strength he had inside. Which didn´t go unnoticed by Harvey.

The man suddenly pressed himself against his back, taking the bottle of olive oil from his hands. Then his lips were at Mike´s ear.

“Be brave, Mike. Find the courage and I will help you to keep it at any point in this night.”

A last shattered breath. A heartbeat that sent his blood boiling like acid through his veins. And then something clicked out in Mike´s mind.

Everything happened in a rush from that second on. He barely recognized how he pulled his shirt over his head in a quick motion, getting his upper body naked and he was more of a machine on autopilot when he unbuckled his belt and unzipped his fly. He couldn´t bring himself to take his trousers off though, but in a split second he sank to his knees in front of the bed and bent his upper body over it, laying there with his arms on his sides. He took one more breath and then stopped breathing at all, tears now running silently over his face as the pressure had gotten to high to hold them back anymore. He shrank into himself, a desperate attempt to shut down and protect his insides from what was going to happen to him, as he waited for these hands to finally touch him, to shove the trousers down his hips and start his humiliation.


	4. Chapter 4

Time seemed to stretch into eternity as Mike was half laying, half kneeling there with Harvey standing right behind him. He had gone down on his knees to give Harvey the satisfaction of victory, the knowledge that he had given up and accepted what awaited him.

The only thing that was audible now in the otherwise silent room was Mike´s frantic heartbeat – at least to him. The blood rushed in his ears and he briefly expected to pass out from the sheer tension within his body. This must be how the victim of a predator felt the moment it knew that there was no escape anymore and that its fate had been sealed.

Harvey started to move behind him and Mike flinched towards the bed automatically, his flight instincts setting in, even though it didn´t make any sense now. Anymore.

But Harvey obviously hadn´t meant to touch him. He just went around the bed to the nightstand and put the bottle of olive oil on the surface. The sound of heavy glass colliding with wood was too loud in Mike´s ears. All his senses were oversensitive due to the extreme stress level his body was in.

Harvey came back to him, standing at his side this time, and now a heavy warm hand was placed on his naked back, right between his shoulder blades.

“No such thing, Mike. Get up.”

Mike lifted his head a little and looked up at Harvey´s face. Some remaining tears fell silently from his eyes.

“Come on, get up Mike,” Harvey told him again as his hand wandered from Mike´s back to his upper arm in an attempt to guide him up.

Mike stumbled wordlessly to his feet, already swaying from the psychical exhaustion which very quickly started to transform into a heavy physical one. He could already feel a strange, foreign shaking and thrumming in every fibre of his body, just as if his very core was physically vibrating. It was something he had never felt before, not even while pulling two all nighters in a row with more than 48 hours of permanent work.

Harvey snaked an arm around Mike´s waist, guided him to the side of the bed and made him sit down.

“Breathe,” he told him in a deep, warm voice while putting his palm flat on Mike´s sternum.

Mike did as he was told. His head had started to spin heavily while Harvey had moved him to the bed. He didn´t know what was exactly happening to him right now but he assumed that he was on the brink of a physical collapse. He couldn´t even focus on anything else in this very moment – not the fact that Harvey was actually touching him now, not that the man was still holding the gun in his other hand and not even that the woman he loved was handcuffed to the heater on the other side of the bed.

“Breathe deeper,” Harvey ordered him with a steady voice, still with his palm on Mike´s sternum. “In – out – in – out…focus Mike. Focus on just that.”

Mike took deep breaths, following Harvey´s instructions. As absurd as the whole situation was, it actually helped and the warm palm on his sternum somehow steadied him in his current state and calmed him a little.

His head finally stopped spinning and the rhythm of his breathing became slower again. He swallowed and then nodded at Harvey.

“Better?” Harvey asked with a stern voice.

“Yes,” Mike answered silently and cleared his voice, “Thank--…”

He stopped abruptly in his speech. He would _not_ thank the man who was responsible for getting him in this state in the first place.

Harvey didn´t reply to him but pressed his hand tighter against Mike´s sternum instead.

“Lay down.”

So it would begin now. Mike lay back and once more the tension captured his body. He buried his teeth in his bottom lip, hard enough that he could taste salt and iron. The pain made him focus on itself at least, as Harvey grabbed the waistband of his trousers and pulled them down over Mike´s thighs and knees, finally completely removing them from his body, while still holding the gun firmly in his free hand. The cold metal touched Mike´s skin in the process and made him flinch.

Harvey didn´t take his boxer shorts off.

“Lay down on the bed, Mike. Completely.”

Mike shuffled a little backwards and then turned around in an angle of 90 degrees so his head finally was placed on the pillows. He was almost thankful to be able to lie down. Even though he still felt fear, the exhaustion which had nearly overwhelmed him a minute ago seemed to strangely superimpose the first emotion now. He felt completely weak, as if every bit of energy had been taken away from him. He glanced at Harvey again, and braced himself for Harvey to immediately join him.

Instead of that, the man looked straight into his eyes and put the gun up, but without pointing it at Mike.

“I´m going to do something now that might make you relax a bit more. But don´t get mislead by it, it´s also for my own safety. When I am doing with you what you agreed to, I might get a little wrapped up in this. And in you. So I can´t risk you using that fact against me and pointing my own gun at me at any certain point.”

With that he removed the clip from the gun, pulled the slide back, turned the weapon around and let the cartridge which had been in the barrel fall down on the floor. The now unloaded weapon landed with a soft thud on the carpet. But Harvey obviously wanted to be completely sure Mike wouldn´t have any chance to use the gun, as he started to remove every single cartridge from the clip. One by one they fell on the carpet of the bedroom and joined the gun.

Mike looked at the whole process with attentive eyes. He had no idea how a gun worked, actually hadn´t wanted to know up until this night. He carefully memorized how Harvey had handled the gun, though he wasn´t completely sure if he would be able to do everything backwards in the right way to make it work again – but just in case…

Harvey let the empty clip glide out of his hands when he was done.

“You see? No gun is going to be pointed at you during this night with me. But if you even _think_ of trying to put up a fight or something equally as ridiculous, let me assure you – you won't have any chance. I don´t box for nothing and some strong thighs because of constant biking won´t be of any use for you in this special case. So do yourself a favour and behave. Don´t make me do things to you I don´t really want to do.”

Mike actually felt much too exhausted to think of fighting Harvey with mere body power. His spirit for that was gone along with his physical strength.

Harvey then started to undress himself until he was also down to his boxer briefs. He sat down at the edge of the bed and then urged Mike to shuffle a little more into the middle so there was finally enough space for him to lie down next to Mike.

It was strange and wrong and much, much too intimate - Harvey on Rachel´s side of the bed with his head on the pillow, his face turned towards Mike.

They both lay on their sides for a few silent minutes, facing each other, and Mike had shuffled far enough from Harvey, so there was still an arm length between them. Harvey´s eyes watched Mike intently but with an inscrutable expression. A part of Mike was even thankful that he gave him this little time to prepare himself and didn´t assault him straight away.

But then this time was over and Harvey´s arm finally reached for Mike.

“Come here.”

It was just a whisper, spoken while Harvey´s hand grabbed Mike at his hip and pulled him towards him. Straight into his arms.

The sudden full body contact, skin on skin, made Mike gasp. It was all too much, from one second to the next, and Mike didn´t know where to place the feeling or even where to look.

Harvey´s arms went around Mike´s body, pressing the boy tightly to his own one for some moments. Then he let go a little, but not much, and Mike finally closed his eyes. For a second he thought of trying to pretend that this was Rachel with him and not Harvey but it proved to be useless since Harvey´s body felt absolutely different from her´s. He had crossed his forearms over his chest when Harvey had started to embrace him, simply not knowing where to put his hands.

Harvey moved a little away from him, creating some more space between their bodies and then carefully grabbed one of his wrists to lose the cross Mike had obviously unconsciously formed with his arms to protect himself.

“Relax, Mike. Everything is just fine.”

He put Mike´s hand on his hip and then his own hands went around the boy´s body again, one on his back, one into his hair.

Mike gulped. He was laying completely in Harvey´s arms now, with his head even _on_ the man´s arm and the fingers which were tangled in his hair started to move in small circles over his scalp. He just couldn´t let his hand rest on Harvey´s bare hip, so he let it slowly glide upwards again in hopes Harvey wouldn´t argue with that. He put his palm flat against the man´s naked chest instead.

Harvey moved a little and got closer to him, but obviously he didn´t mind the change.

“Don´t forget to breathe,” he whispered to him again. “Focus on your body and this simple rhythm whenever you feel that fear wants to turn into blind panic. This is nothing that just applies to your actual situation. It applies to life in general. Fear is good. It keeps your senses sharp. Panic is bad because it leaves you lost in yourself.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Mike whispered back, looking up from Harvey´s chest where his gaze had lain on. He realized it was the first thing he said to Harvey since he had joined him on the bed.

Harvey´s fingers in his hair started to move in wider circles.

“I said that I would help you along the way if you would be brave. Don´t you remember?”

“But you were just mocking me…”

“No,” Harvey frowned, looking down in Mike´s eyes and shaking his head slightly, “no, I wasn´t. I thought you had understood what I meant.” He pulled Mike even closer, so that Mike´s forehead rested against his chest now. “At least you told me that you had understood…”

Mike didn´t reply anymore and just closed his eyes again.

The fingers in his hair kept stroking him and moved slowly down to the back of his neck and the hand between his shoulder blades was going deeper now too, all along his spine to the waistband of his boxer shorts and then upwards again.

Mike focused on his breathing to fight the recurring tension, the _simple rhythm of his body_ as Harvey had called it, as Harvey´s hands were running over his body. How much longer until these still careful touches would turn into something entirely different? Until he would end up with his face tightly pressed into a pillow, or bent over the bed or on hands and knees while Harvey would…?

“In…out…in…out,” he whispered inaudibly to himself, deliberately disrupting his chain of thoughts.

Unconsciously he started to press his forehead tighter against Harvey´s chest, even curled a little tighter into the body next to him, as if he would be able to hide from what was coming with seeking protection from the man himself.

“Shhh,” he heard Harvey´s muffled voice. He had his face buried in Mike´s hair and – strangely enough – seemed to inhale Mike´s scent. “Everything is fine. Relax. Just relax. All I want you to do now is to relax and think of nothing.”

Meanwhile, his fingertips were drawing patterns over Mike´s back, but not touching anything else, the manicured nails of his other hand massaging his scalp and neck and occasionally - as a mere physical reaction he wasn´t able to suppress - caused Mike small waves of goose bumps down his spine.

It seemed to go on like that _forever_. Fifteen minutes passed. Twenty. Half an hour. After a full hour Mike began to slowly lose track of time.

He couldn´t assess what Harvey was doing to him here, if that was a part of “helping him along the way” or if the man just had a sadistic way of playing cat and mouse with him. His body though, driven through the worst extremes during the past few hours, didn´t seem to be able to care anymore and obviously decided to take a break from _everything_ now, due to the fact that nothing really threatening was happening currently.

Mike could feel how a good part of the held tension slowly began to fell from his chest with every further passing minute. It was like as if his body acted on its own volition without him really having any influence on it. A subconscious part of him simply took the whole weight which lay on him, wrapped it up and put it somewhere beside where it could be picked up again when the current situation seemed to change.

Meanwhile the room had gotten distinctly colder and aside from the occasional goose bumps Harvey caused with caressing his neck, Mike started to feel a constant cold shiver on his skin, given the fact that he was forced to lay half naked here for over an entire hour already. Harvey must have realized it and maybe even felt it too, because he slowly withdrew his arm from under Mike´s head and reached for one of the blankets which were neatly folded at the foot of the bed (thanks to Rachel, who really was the tidiest woman of the upper Eastside.) He pulled it over both of their bodies and then slipped his arms back around Mike.

Harvey resumed stroking him after that with slow soothing movements and Mike´s body finally began to feel heavy. As the tension went away from him more and more, the bone deep tiredness came back to replace it. The developing warmth around him due to the blanket and the body next to him, the heavy exhaustion, the constant monotonous stroking of that hand… He sagged against Harvey even more, already just half aware of it, and his palm glided slowly from Harvey´s chest as his mind finally blanked out completely…

 

**********

 

Mike´s eyes flew open and he gasped against Harvey´s upper body as his consciousness came back. The room seemed to be even colder than before and the blanket had been pulled over his shoulders now while before just reaching up to his lower chest.

He had fallen asleep. _Asleep_. Of all the things he had imagined to happen in this bed, falling asleep against the chest of the man who was intending to assault him hadn´t been nearly anywhere in the frame of possibilities.

Harvey´s hand was still stroking his back though much more leisurely and slower than before and he had removed his other arm from under Mike´s head and placed it above. Probably to avoid numbness.

When Mike moved against his chest he looked down on him.

“I fell asleep,” Mike mumbled, looking up briefly, but otherwise avoiding eye contact.

“I noticed. Not long, though. Just about twenty minutes.”

“God, this is…so weird.” Mike shook his head incredulously and his forehead touched Harvey´s chest in the movement. “Why did you let me? Why are you acting like this at all?”

“Like what?”

“You know what I mean.”

“Do I? Why don´t you just say it?”

Mike took a soft breath. He didn´t want to say it.

“Say it,“ Harvey repeated a bit louder as it became obvious that he wouldn´t get any answer.

Mike shook his head again, swallowed and shut his eyes tightly for a second.

“You are…you are…tender…” he finally managed to breathe out, the last word barely audible to his own ears.

Harvey buried his face once more into Mike´s hair, obviously content with his answer.

“I assumed average people like you liked it that way.” He put a small kiss on the top of Mike´s head. “But I also can be rough with you if you prefer that. Really rough. You just have to tell me what you like.”

It sounded completely sincere, as if the man really had the intention to please him now without having any clue what actually had to go on within Mike in a situation like this.

After hearing it Mike frowned deeply.

“What I _like_ …?”

“Yes,” Harvey answered, but it was muffled due to his mouth still being buried in Mike´s hair. His hand had meanwhile moved to Mike´s chest and his fingertips were stroking over the skin, sometimes even feathery teasing a nipple. “Whatever you like…I'll give you whatever you want, Mike.”

Harvey´s tone had transformed into quite breathy, somehow even verging on strangely longing and maybe it was the currently complete absence of dominance and threat within it that gave Mike the courage and actually made him snap in spite of himself and probably against better knowledge.

His hands balled into fists and he pounded them once against Harvey´s chest, a sudden wave of rage and despair and heavily broken trust swelling up in his own.

“What I want?” he panted and his voice broke at the first try, “what I want is this night to have never happened. What I want is for this to all be over and erased from my memory.”

He pounded his fists against Harvey´s chest again and his body started to shake.

“What I'd _like_ is for you to _give_ me back the friend you took from me by becoming this…this…” He couldn´t find any appropriate term for what Harvey was to him now. His voice got higher as the feeling of betrayal intensified within him. “How can you, Harvey? How can you do this to me?”

He sounded completely unreasonable, he knew it, he should focus on surviving and getting Rachel and himself out of this situation instead of realizing Harvey´s betrayal and the broken trust now, but it was what he felt inside besides many other things. There were tears in his eyes again but this time not from fear.

In a rapid movement Harvey rolled him on his back and lay on top of him, looking him directly in the eyes.

“I would have never chosen you as one of my… - you would have been safe. But you so wanted to be close to me. Until I wasn´t able to keep you out anymore. And now I need more of you.”

Mike struggled slightly against Harvey and kept his palms pressed against the man´s chest to keep him from getting any closer to him.

“So Rachel was actually right. This was never about her. The whole thing is just about me?”

Harvey just kept staring down on him without giving any answer, his deep brown eyes piercing through Mike. It just made Mike angrier and therefore even braver.

“I wish you would have kept me out,” he continued and this time hissed at Harvey. “I wish you would have kept me out of your whole personal sphere. All these speeches about honesty and trust and telling each other everything because,” his voice got distinctly louder, “ _because that´s what goddamn loyalty is._ ” He was almost screaming at Harvey now, remembering their scene in the hallway from more than a year ago when he was desperately trying to get back to Harvey and Harvey dumped him for being an unfaithful and unreliable friend.

Mike´s hands balled into fists once more and he was a second away from just carelessly socking Harvey on the jaw.

“I trusted you! Like I never trusted another man before. You meant something to me. But all you did in these years was fool me and play with me. I hate you. I fucking hate you!”

Harvey immediately grabbed Mike´s wrists after his outburst, put them down on the bed above Mike´s head and kept holding them there, hovering just like that above him and holding him in place with the weight of his body. His voice was surprisingly calm when he started to speak.

“I know you do now. You won´t forever. You don´t understand it yet, but this is just a process we both have to go through.”

“What the hell are you even talking about?” Mike spat at him. “There is no process _we_ _both_ will go through.”

“No, you are wrong, Mike,” Harvey shook his head. “And believe me, it´s not just you who will have to learn on this way. This already had started for me long before it started for you tonight.”

“I truly don´t understand a single thing of what you are telling me!”

Harvey came closer to Mike now and his lips were just lingering mere centimetres from Mike´s.

“I wasn´t disloyal to you, nor did I betray your trust, even if you feel like that now. I admit I didn´t introduce this side of me in a very pleasant way to you but this night isn´t meant to reveal my true nature just to torture you for my sadistic pleasure. I am doing this because I _am_ loyal to you and want you to know about this other part of me. You once told me you couldn´t be in a relationship with her,” Harvey jerked his head into Rachel´s direction, “without her knowing your secret. This here is my way of showing you _my_ secrets to let you get close to me.”

Oh God, the man was insane. Truly and utterly insane.

“And I kept this so long from you, kept what I truly am from you, because our time wasn´t there yet. Because _I_ wasn´t ready to show you and let you in completely. Because I needed to accept what…what was _happening_ …”

“Happening?” Mike interrupted him this time, Harvey´s chain of thoughts on the whole thing giving him the creeps.

“…happening to me.”

No, he didn´t want to ask. He shouldn´t ask and just stop Harvey´s strange and sick explanations from going on. But the impulsive part of him already pushed Mike, since the question literally hung in the air now.

“What was happening to you, Harvey?”

There was a long pause and Harvey just kept looking at Mike, studying him intensely. Then, after what felt like several minutes, Harvey finally went on.

“There´s a part of me which feels something for you.”

Mike swallowed and closed his eyes. At the last second he was able to suppress the need of shaking his head frantically at this confession.

Harvey had recognized his reactions though.

“You don´t understand, Mike. I am not like the rest of you. I am different. I always was. The way I _feel_ about life, about human beings is different from average people. That´s why I can do what I do. That´s why I do what I do.”

This time Mike didn´t want to ask anymore what _exactly_ Harvey was talking about. He just wished he could find the sense in Harvey´s whole speech. Why did the man give him all these explanations? He kept listening to Harvey as he continued.

“But the thing I had to learn and accept since I met you was that there´s also a small part of me that doesn´t match this. A small part that is average. A part which was, and admittedly still is, a weakness in my eyes but I can´t change it and I´m not a person who indulges themselves in denial. Accepting that a part of me feels a strong affection for you is my task in this process. I could hate you for making me weak and less special than I thought I´d be and I could have solved the problem in the usual way but I´d rather explore where it takes me. And where the love of a man like me can take _you_ when you receive it.”

Mike jerked involuntarily at the mentioning of the word _love_. He was about to start laughing sarcastically at this, just because he really didn´t know how else to react to such a confession in this situation. But then, just after a split second another realization hit him. Harvey had described his feelings for him as a weakness. He himself saw them as a weakness and maybe they really could turn out as one for him if Mike played his cards right. Whatever kind of twisted emotions that man had for him, they were obviously running quite deep.

Mike´s focus turned back on Harvey and suddenly he remembered Harvey´s words when he had unloaded the weapon to make sure Mike wouldn´t be able to use it. _“When I am doing with you what you agreed to I might get a little wrapped up in this. And in you. So I can´t risk you using that fact against me.”_

For the first time since Harvey had started to turn into this mad stranger Mike actually saw the possibility of gaining control back, a small prospect of saving himself and Rachel. But he needed to use the knowledge Harvey had given him so recklessly in the right way. This was his only chance.

 _"Wrap him up in his feelings,“_ he instructed himself in his mind, using Harvey´s exact own words. _“Distract him so much that he becomes unfocused. Find a chance to overwhelm him.”_

Mike quickly went through the room in his head, assessing what items he might be able to use to catch Harvey by surprise if he could make him close his eyes in pleasure for a few moments to savour the feeling of Mike being…responsive. There was a huge porcelain lamp at one of the bedside tables. There was also the heavy glass bottle of olive oil standing right next to it, just where Harvey had placed it. Maybe there would be also other possibilities. He would just have to go with it and react at the right moment.

But first he needed to focus on Harvey, on pushing the man to emotional limits he obviously wasn´t really used to and had problems dealing with. In retrospective it wasn´t a real surprise. From the very beginning Harvey had had problems opening up to him and at the beginning - in their first months together - Mike had just thought he didn´t mean enough to Harvey to deserve that. Now he realized that it had been the other way round.

He had to be careful though. Aside from bringing himself to do things and say things he didn´t want to say or do he also had to be _convincing_ while doing it. Harvey was obviously seriously disturbed but he was definitely not an idiot and some sudden outburst of feigned affection would be implausible. No, he had to act in the right way which definitely included not being too responsive. He had to show emotional pain and a certain degree of resistance in the whole process. Well, that wouldn´t be a real problem he thought bitterly.

He swallowed and then everything inside him went into acting mode. He even was a bit surprised of how fast he was able to switch into it. But maybe it was just a sign of what a human being was able to accomplish if they had to face a life threatening danger, even if Harvey seemed to be a little tamer now while being focused on him instead of Rachel. The whole thing felt like handling a predator where every move had to be controlled thoughtfully and carefully to avoid getting injured or worse – eaten.

Harvey was still holding Mike´s wrists pressed into the bed sheets above his head and Mike willed the muscles in his arms to relax, enough to make Harvey realize the change. He let out a deep breath and forced himself to look Harvey in the eyes.

“You could have just seduced me, Harvey,“ he began and paid attention to let his voice sound a little shaky and hurt. “If you feel so much for me… why did you have to do all this and break our friendship? Just to let me know about that other part of you? Now that I know I´d prefer to _not_ know.”

Mike shortly stopped, closed his eyes and took a little shaky breath. Then he continued and the pain in his voice began to feel strangely real. Probably because at least a part of what he was telling Harvey was actually the truth.

“You know that you also meant a lot to me, even though I didn´t think of you in _this_ specific way. But I trusted you. I even trusted you so much that I…”

Mike stopped again as a former thought of this evening crossed his mind. He hesitated to use it, briefly considered it to be too personal now that Harvey had become a stranger to him but did it matter at all anymore? His aim was to wrap that man up in his emotions and get him distracted.

Harvey looked at him with attentive eyes.

“I…I trusted you so much so that I even thought about letting you into my bed.”

God, that actually felt terrible to say out loud after all, even more so because it was the truth. Well, just a quick and fleeting truth, since he had pushed that thought out of his mind quickly and focused back on cooking the tomato sauce while Rachel mentioned something about both of them feeding her but for a second it had been there.

“Yes, “Mike continued and pushed himself to say it. “I thought about me and her and…you.”

This time it was almost too hard to keep going, and the last thing Mike wanted to think about was that not just Harvey but also Rachel heard it. He couldn´t imagine what had to go on within her while hearing this after Harvey had nearly raped her.

“But of course, “Mike tried to tone down it a bit and brought his focus back on Harvey, “not…not me and you. Just me and you and …her… _in the center_. I mean…I mean…what I mean is…”

No, he couldn´t do that. It was too much. He was bad at this. Even more so, he didn´t want to be good at this. He just wanted to roll on his side and curl into a ball and hide in himself. He thought of Rachel again and realized that this wasn´t an option... If not for himself he at least had to be brave for her.

Before he was able to say anything more, Harvey interrupted him.

“I know what you mean. You don´t have to say it.”

It was almost as if he wanted to make this easier for Mike.

But there was no way that this would ever be easy for him. So Mike, with a last resolution, pushed forward and started weaving truths, half-truths and lies together.

“No, Harvey, please let me say it. What I mean is…I already trusted you enough to think something like this. How far would it have been to…?” he stopped quickly and broke eye contact with Harvey, heat running through his body as he was touching the subject now. He wanted to avoid it as much as he needed to get to it.

“I wish you would have just seduced me,” he finally whispered, being lost at how to better lead Harvey into it. “If you want me so much why didn´t you just seduce me? You are good at seducing people. Everything would have been better than this now.” He sounded sad and hurt again. Good.

“And what would I have gotten if I had tried?” Harvey asked with a stern voice.

“What…what you would have gotten? I…don´t understand. What do you mean?”

“You don´t understand? You don´t understand yourself, Mike. Don´t get me wrong, I´m convinced that I would have been able to seduce you. To a certain degree. I could have invited you over to my place to work on a case with me after hours. Or even to have a movie night to celebrate a won trial and you would have come, we both know that. I could have used a moment of closeness with you to reveal my interest and after a little time of surprise and hesitation and me convincing you that it doesn´t have to be a big deal, that it´s ok, that it wouldn´t have anything to do with you and your little girlfriend, that it would be just something new and different, you might have given in to curiosity and excitement and would have let yourself be pulled over the edge.”

Mike gasped a little at the realization that Harvey obviously had plotted this out once, he doubted that he had just come up with that offhand. The man must have thought about this already but then discarded the idea of approaching him like that.

“And then with you not really thinking or at least avoiding it and just acting viscerally we probably would have exchanged some wild kisses and a quick handjob and then you would have come to yourself and apologized and blamed it on alcohol or on weed you never actually smoked that day and you would have run out of my apartment as if the devil himself had been hunting you. That wasn´t what I wanted.”

Harvey had really thought that through. How long had this been on his mind? It didn't matter, now that Mike had made him openly discuss his intentions it was time for him to finally get _responsive_. There was no going back anymore. The only way was directly through it.

“Maybe you would have gotten more than just that,” he replied silently and slightly breathy and paid attention to avoid eye contact which wasn´t a very hard task at all. He wanted to look shy. He probably looked mortified.

However, his response obviously seemed to change something within Harvey.

“What would I have gotten, Mike?” the man asked him challenging. The grip on Mike´s wrists loosened a bit.

“Maybe,“ Mike started again and his voice sounded pressed, but it added to the tension, “if you would have said the right things…I wouldn´t have run. I trusted you. I might have stayed. For…for…”

 _“Say it,”_ Mike pushed himself in his mind once more as he didn´t seem to be able to get the words over his lips. _“Don´t think about it, just say it.”_

“For … a fuck.”

Harvey removed his hands from Mike´s wrists after that, rolled from him and back on his side and pulled Mike with him in the movement. They lay like they had lain the whole time before with the sheet still covering their bodies, except that Harvey´s hand was going pointedly down to Mike´s hip now, his fingers dipping under the waistband, but not yet shoving the garment down.

His right arm was captured between his and Mike´s body and his other hand came up to Mike´s chin and pulled his face up so that Mike had to look into his eyes this time.

“A fuck?” he asked and his thumb stroked slowly over Mike´s upper and then lower lip. The touch was so gentle that it almost felt as if it would burn Mike´s skin there. Shortly he expected Harvey to actually put the finger into his mouth and make him suck on it, but Harvey didn´t do it. Instead he continued their conversation while looking at Mike with an intense expression.

“What would that fuck have looked like between us, Mike?”

Mike took a deep breath and swallowed.

The game was on.

 


End file.
